Here Goes Nothing...

I've wanted to do this for a long time; write everything down. Ironically, it has been the motivation from reading a college friend's weight loss blog that has finally inspired me to start my own. I need to tell my story. I need for people to know what I've been through, where I started, where I've been, and where I'm going. My hope is that maybe, just maybe, one person will read my story and be changed somehow. I don't know how, but somehow. And if not, that's ok too. Maybe no one will read this at all. If that happens, at least I've written down my story and that gives me satisfaction.

So, where to begin. I've always been the fat girl. For as long as I can remember, I've had weight issues. Even as a pretty active child, I was always larger than the rest of the kids. But I was in shape. I took dance classes for 12 years (even taught for 2 of them!), played soccer, swam, at one point took gymnastics, and played in marching band (and if you even THINK of saying marching band is not a sport, go try it for a day and you'll change your mind.) I could run, but not very fast and I was usually the last one to round the corner on the last leg of the mile in gym class. I was always involved with more activities than I can possibly remember, and I had a lot of friends. Still though, I was made fun of a lot because I was fat. And what did that make me want to do? Eat more. So I did. I ate my emotions away, feeling sorry for myself and quite alone in a world where I pretended to be happy and full of life. The older I got, the more I ate. Sure, I had a couple medical issues that may have contributed to weight gain, but that was only a small fraction. On into adulthood, I just kept getting bigger and bigger until I couldn't take it anymore. There was a voice inside me just SCREAMING at me, "YOU'RE KILLING YOURSELF!!!" And I was. Food Addiction/Compulsive Overeating is a disease that kills, very similar to Alcoholism. But we'll cover that in another post. Finally, I had had enough.

On August 7, 2009 I had a life-changing surgery called Lap Band. It's similar to gastric bypass, but without all the re-arranging of your insides. I'll go into more detail later. The point is, it changed my life. I've been happier and healthier ever since, and even though I'm not completely to where I want to be yet, I'm a lot better off than I was before. Like I said at the beginning, it is time to tell my story. This journey has been full of ups and downs, victories and frustration, and a boatload of temptation. I have changed, and continue to change, through this journey. My outlook on life a few years ago was very grim. Now it is full of hope, energy, a sense of peace, a deeper relationship with God, and a newfound zest for living.

I am big on quotes, and I am going to include a quote for every blog. Here is the thought for today:

"So you know who you are, and you know what you want. I've been where you're going, and it's not that far. It's too far to walk, but you don't have to run. Get there in time." -Jars of Clay