Well it's been quite a while since I've blogged, hasn't it? This past year has been whirlwind for sure! Let's see...school was a hell of a crappy year, got a new kitten, I got engaged, and I GOT MARRIED! WHAT?!?!? Yes folks, the eternal bachelorette is spoken for for all eternity. I married the sweetest, most caring, funniest, GEEKIEST man in the world. He is absolutely AMAZING and more than I could have ever asked for. I never thought I'd find a man so wonderful to spend my life with. And surely never thought it would be that football/trumpet player/chemistry & math geek from high school. But, God always has a plan and this was His for us. Yup, I'll say life is pretty darn good right now. :)
Ok, you can put your barf bags away now. I'm just eternally, sickeningly happy so DEALT WITH IT! ;) Anyway, the reason I'm back in the blogging world is, well, despite all my glowing sunshine I have fallen off the weight loss wagon big time. For about 4 months now I've been eating what I want, when I want, and (as much as my lap band allows me) how much I want. I've spiraled out of control and back into my old bad eating habits. Emotional eating, why hello old friend! Nice to see you again! Who needs to deal with real life when you have FOOD?! Yes, that's been me lately. Stress + food = weight gain. No bones about it. Not good.
I think a big part of the reason why I've slipped back into my old habits is the comfort factor. Last year I got to a point where my body was comfortable with where it was. I could shop in regular stores and do all the things that normal people can do. I was running and exercising and feeling really good about myself. Somewhere along the way, the exercise dwindled, the running shoes got buried in the back of my closet, and I stopped watching what I was eating. I do think I generally make healthier choices than I used to, but those old habits creep up on you. First it's an ice cream treat, then a trip to Sheetz, and before you know it your pantry is stocked with chips and cookies and you're eating out every other night. I saw some of the signs, but I chose to ignore them because I had other things to deal with. As the wedding got closer, I gave up entirely and said to hell with it, I'll get back on the wagon after the wedding.
Well, a month after the wedding I still wasn't back on the wagon and 4 pounds heavier than on my wedding day. What gives? I had excuse after excuse after bloody lousy excuse. So this week I kicked my excuses to the curb, started a lap band "reset" diet, and am on my way back. Eating healthier right now is a whole lot harder than eating junk, since that's the way I've been eating for so long. BUT, I have faith that I will get back to the point where I craved healthy food and exercise.
So what have I learned from all this? Setbacks happen. At some point, we all ease back into our old lazy eating habits and weight loss slows down or we have a gain. But you've just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on. No wallowing in past mistakes. Take a moment to forgive yourself and get back on track. It really is that simple. Not easy, but simple.
Another thing that keeps me from going completely crazy is looking back at how far I've come. Two years ago I was almost 160 pounds heavier. I couldn't walk without getting out of breath. Forget being active. I had all sorts of health problems, and was tired all the time. I still look in the mirror and wonder who I'm looking at. In my wedding pictures, I looked like a normal-sized person! I still have trouble accepting that...but that's another blog entry.
Till next time.
“If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.” - Mary Pickford
